


Happy Endings

by contemplativepancakes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Child Abandonment, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, F/M, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Self-Worth Issues, Sex Work, this isn't going to be as awful and angsty as it seems I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-12 04:26:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/contemplativepancakes/pseuds/contemplativepancakes
Summary: Sam Winchester could not be happier. Honestly, it just wouldn’t be possible. He has a new house, a job where he genuinely gets to help people, and a fantastic wife to top it all off. What wasn’t to love? For some reason, though, he just can’t seem to shake the feeling that there is a hole in his life. It would all be perfect if only he could reunite with his brother, but Dean has fallen off the map since Sam graduated from Stanford. Sam finds Dean, but in very different circumstances than he would have expected and a past that Sam had never guessed at.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Pie in the Sky](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1301470) by [PrinceMalice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceMalice/pseuds/PrinceMalice). 



> This is my first fic (second that I started to write), so I hope this isn't too painful. It definitely wasn't painful for me to write! I tried to tag everything that could make people uncomfortable or trigger them, but let me know if I missed anything. This work is rated mature for basically just one scene, everything else is pretty PG-13. The main issue is language (oops). I already have about ten thousand words written, and I don't think this is going to stretch for much longer, but who knows. I hope you enjoy and I'm open for any comments! Happy reading!

Sam Winchester could not be happier. Honestly, it just wouldn’t be possible. He has a new house, a job where he genuinely gets to help people, and a fantastic wife to top it all off. What wasn’t to love? For some reason, though, he just can’t seem to shake the feeling that there is a hole in his life. Sam knows he had had a less than normal childhood, and he had thought he had come to terms with that. When Sam was little, his mother had upped and left him, his brother, and his dad behind. His dad was left to pick up the pieces of his family, but he had failed. John had skipped around from job to job, and town to town, dragging his two sons with him. John had turned to whiskey to get him through the hard times after his wife left, but the hard times never seemed to end. This left Dean, at 14, to become the mother and father Sam had never had. Dean had been determined to make sure Sam had all the opportunities the other kids had. He always seemed to find a way to come up with the money Sam needed for clothes, field trips, or even food when their dad had refused to get up from the couch or was just gone for a few days too long. Along with money, Dean made sure Sam never lacked in confidence by showering him with praise and making sure Sam knew exactly how smart he was. Dean was also always willing to help Sam with his schoolwork. Although Dean’s barely passing grades didn’t show it, Dean actually excelled in school. He was an especially good artist. Looking back, Sam felt incredibly guilty that Dean had thrown his education away to make sure Sam had everything he needed. “Hey, honey,” his wife purrs, shaking Sam out of his thoughts.

It’s their honeymoon, and they’re on a road trip reminiscent of Sam’s entire childhood before settling down for good. Sam wasn’t really a fan of the idea, but one of his wife’s goals is to see all fifty states. He couldn’t exactly say no to his new wife, especially when she could be so convincing. Sarah kisses the junction of Sam’s jaw and neck, and he tilts her face so he can capture her mouth with his. She groans into the kiss. He picks her up like she’s a princess and carries her to the bedroom where Sam forgets all about his childhood for a little while.

 

“Sam?” Sarah asks him softly.

“Yeah?” Sam turns to face her, and smiles at the way her face is still flushed from their earlier activities.

“You looked kind of far away when I came in on you earlier. What were you thinking about?”

“I really wish I knew where Dean was. I never realized everything he did for me when we were kids, and I just want to be able to properly thank him, you know?” Sam answers.

“I’m sorry, baby. Maybe someday he’ll want to be found.” Sarah presses a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling away and settling closer to Sam to go to sleep.

Sam, on the other hand, can’t sleep. He can’t stop thinking about his brother. He hasn’t heard from Dean in nearly three years. Dean had been there for him all throughout his college years, but the moment Sam had finished college and found his first job, Dean had disappeared. _Just like Mom,_ Sam thinks bitterly, but quickly amends that. Dean had stayed there for him, his only constant in childhood and college. Dean had kept sending Sam money in college, even though Sam had earned a full ride to Stanford. _“Sammy, I spent a hell of a lot of time raising this money, and besides, you’re still going to need spending money. You might even meet a girl.”_ Sam can still remember the suggestive way Dean had wiggled his eyebrows at that, and the tone he used that demanded no argument over the money. Sam had just sighed and let Dean keep providing for him, just like he had done his whole life. Until suddenly, Dean didn’t. Sam supposes that was unfair; every month he got an envelope full of cash with no return address that he’s positive is from Dean. The money has started to increase lately, and Sam desperately wishes he could find Dean. He wants Dean to see his wife and his fancy house. He wants Dean to know that all the sacrifices he made for Sam didn’t go to waste, and that he could finally focus on himself for once. Sam knows Sarah is it for him, and he hopes Dean can find someone like that for himself. A nice woman who can give Dean some babies and the apple pie life Sam knows Dean always secretly wished for. With that thought, Sam mentally aims his best bitch face at wherever Dean is, and closes his eyes. He lets Sarah’s steady breaths lull him to sleep.

When Sam wakes up the next morning, Sarah is still asleep. Looking at her, he is suddenly struck with the desire to do something special for his wife. Sam smiles at her peaceful face and leans down to give her forehead a quick brush with his lips. She starts to stir, and Sam freezes. Once she’s firmly ensconced in sleep again, Sam rolls out of bed. He leaves her a note, _Went out for a bit. Be back soon. Love you!_ Sam grabs the key card to their hotel room and begins his quest for something he can get for his wife. He doesn’t have anything particular in mind when he starts down the sidewalk, but he figures something will catch his eye. He is right, and eventually he stumbles across a flower shop tucked away into the corner of the block. _Bee in Your Bonnet Floral,_ Sam reads. It sounds perfect to Sam, so he goes to pull the door open, only to be met with a locked door. Sam can see a light in a back room on, so he knocks on the window, hoping someone will take pity on him. He squints at their sign to see they don’t open for another two hours. He told Sarah he’d be back soon though, so he doesn’t have that kind of time. He’s ready to continue his quest when a man with unkempt black hair and suspiciously rumpled clothing comes racing out of the back room to unlock the door. “Hi! Is there something I can do for you this morning?” the man asks cheerily.

“Um, yeah,” Sam replies, “I wanted to get something nice for my wife, and your shop caught my eye. I was hoping maybe I could still get some flowers even though it’s before hours? I’ll pay extra, it’s not a problem.”

“That’s not necessary; I’ll just get the florist. I’m sure something can be whipped up for you.” The man smiles warmly at him as he disappears into the back room.

The dark-haired man makes his reappearance shortly. “Our florist, was, um, _otherwise occupied,_ so it’ll be just a second.”

Sam smirks. This guy must own the shop with his wife. “No problem; I’m the one who came in here so early,” Sam reassures him.

A man appears from the back room, curses softly, reaches down to pull up his fly subtly, and comes to stand right next to the other man. “What can I-“ the man seems to lose his train of thought when he looks up to see Sam.

“Dean?” Sam asks incredulously. What was his brother doing at a floral shop?

“Yeah, Sammy, it’s me,” Dean says as he rushes forward to wrap Sam in a fierce hug.

“Sammy?” the other man echoes, “As in your brother?”

“Yeah. Uh, Cas, this is Sammy. Sammy, Cas,” Dean says quickly. “What are you doing here, Sam?”

“Just passing through. I’m on my honey moon,” Sam answers.

“You got married?” Dean blanches. “God, Sammy, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

“Dean, I hardly think Sam is harboring any resentment towards you after _everything_ you have done for him,” the man, Cas, reassures Dean while staring Sam down.

Dean flinches when Cas says “everything” in a different tone, and Sam files that away to ask about later, along with asking Dean about Cas. _There’s no way they’re together, right?_ Sam raises his hands in submission to Cas. “Definitely not. I wouldn’t be where I am today without you, Dean.”

Cas seems to visibly relax towards Sam after that statement, and he gives him that brilliant smile again. “We definitely need to get dinner together tonight so you and Dean can catch up, but you said you wanted some flowers for your wife?” Cas steers the conversation back on track.

“Yeah, just something that looks nice, smells good, you know.”

“Real specific there, Sammy,” Dean scoffs, “but I’ll see what I can do.”

Dean putters around the room, pulling flowers from various coolers, which leaves Sam to grill Cas.

“How long have you guys been together?” Sam asks innocently, praying he hasn’t made a gross miscalculation.

“About three years.” Cas smiles fondly. _Three years??_ That was almost the entirety of Dean’s absence. He supposes Dean couldn’t have done much better for himself, though, if he had found someone who was so obviously as nice as Cas. That train of thought stops abruptly when he remembers Dean’s unzipped fly and Cas’s wrinkled clothes. _Ewwww,_ Sam thinks.

“Problem with that?” Cas asks in a tone he tries to make casual, immediately defensive because of the disgusted look on Sam’s face.

“What? No! Not at all! Just the thought of Dean doing the horizontal tango…” Sam trails off, and Cas immediately dissolves in a fit of laughter.

“What are you guys laughing about over here?” Dean demands, a vase of beautifully arranged flowers in his hands.

“Nothing you should worry about, sweetheart.” Cas leans up to press a soft kiss to Dean’s jaw, and Sam sees Dean visibly become less tense, even though his face reddens instantly.

The woman from Sam’s hopes for Dean vanishes and is immediately replaced with Cas when Dean begins to splutter, “Well, uh, here’s the flowers, no charge.”

“Dean! I can’t possibly take these for free!” Sam protests.

“You definitely can. You kind of interrupted something I’d like to get back to, bitch,” Dean says as he pulls Cas closer to his side.

The tips of Cas’s ears redden, but he just presses his face into Dean’s shirt.

“Whatever, jerk. We still on for supper tonight?” Sam asks.

“Sure. Uh, Cas, where do you want to go?” Dean looks down at the man currently attempting to burrow into his side.

“Balthazar’s,” comes the muffled reply.

“Fine,” Dean huffs.

Sam can sense Dean’s distaste of the place, and he gives Dean the universal sign for _you are whipped._

Dean just shrugs and says, “I wouldn’t have it any other way. So, Balthazar’s on the corner of East and Main Street at six?”

Sam nods and walks out the door to leave Dean and Cas to it, although the thought makes him shudder.

As soon as Sam is out of sight, Cas drags Dean to the back room to finish what they started earlier.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the subscriptions I've gotten! I hope this chapter meets your guys' expectations. I hit 11 thousand words last night and I can see a nice conclusion for this story. There should be 5-6 chapters total, all about the same size. Also, this chapter is where the date rape drugs start, so if that's a problem for you, please don't read it. Otherwise, enjoy!

“These are beautiful, Sam!” Sarah exclaims.

“I try,” Sam says cockily. “I just really love you.”

Sarah presses a kiss to Sam’s cheek and begins to rub his back. “You are so tense!” she tells him as she begins to rub the knots in his back, “Am I stressing you out that much?”

“About that, it’s a funny story actually…” Sam tells Sarah all about his meeting of Dean and Cas.

Sarah is holding her sides from laughing too much as Sam finishes his story. “You interrupted them having sex, Sam!” she laughs, “From everything you have told me about Dean, I just would have never pegged him as the type, you know?”

“The type to open his own floral shop with his boyfriend? Yeah, me neither,” Sam grumbles.

It stings just a little that Dean neglected to tell Sam that he liked men, or that he had any sort of passion about flowers. Obviously, it wasn’t some passing interest if Dean had opened his own business. Sam had always regarded Dean as his superhero growing up, and confided everything in Dean. Apparently, Dean had not done the same with his kid brother. “Anyway, we’re meeting them for supper at six at some restaurant his boyfriend picked out.”

“Sounds good, babe. I’m sure we can find something to do in the meantime,” she says suggestively as she crowds Sam back against the wall. Sam kisses her heatedly before pulling her to back to their room.

 

Sam and Sarah decide to walk to Balthazar’s. Sam had looked it up on his phone and found it was about a mile away. As they near the restaurant, they end up behind a cloyingly sweet couple in a trench coat and a leather jacket that refuse to let go of each other’s hands. Sam witnesses the man in a leather jacket come to a complete stop three separate times to take a closer look at increasingly stupid things before he realizes it’s Dean and Cas in front of them. He stifles a giggle as he crowds closer to Sarah to whisper in her ear, “It’s them! In the leather jacket and trench coat.”

Sarah scrunches her nose in the adorable way Sam loves, “They’re sickening.”

“Right?” Sam exclaims.

Sam must have gotten a little too loud because Dean chooses that moment to whirl around. He immediately breaks into a grin. “Hey, Sammy! Fancy seeing you here. This must be your lovely lady?”

“Yep. This is Sarah. Sarah, this is Dean and Cas,” Sam introduces as Cas gives a little wave of his hand.

“Nice meeting you both. I’ve heard a lot about you guys.” Sarah grins.

“Yeah, I’m sure Sammy told you a whole bunch of bullshit. Unless it put me in a stunningly spectacular light, it probably wasn’t true,” Dean says with a thousand-watt smile.

Sarah is thinking she’s going to like Dean a lot when she’s jerked to a stop by Sam. She looks up to him to see he is transfixed on all the flashy lights and gaudy decorations that they are suddenly right in front of.

“Here we are!” Cas says cheerily.

“Oh, boy,” Dean mutters.

Cas swats Dean’s ass before putting his hand on the small of Dean’s back to guide him inside. Once Sam’s eyes get adjusted to the incredibly dim light in the restaurant, he sees a British man in a shirt with a ridiculously low v-neck swoop in on Cas and kiss him on both cheeks. Sam smiles when Dean immediately grabs Cas’s hand and glowers at the man, but Cas looks oblivious to it all. “Cassie!” the man cries, “Who all have you brought with you today?”

“Balthazar, this is Sam and Sarah, Dean’s brother and sister-in-law,” Cas answers.

“Excellent! Do you want your usual seats?” Balthazar asks.

“Probably not necessary today,” Cas says with an elbow to Dean’s ribs.

Dean flushes, and Sam can only imagine all of the disgusting things the two have gotten up to in the time they’ve known each other. “I have just the spot, then,” Balthazar says easily, and guides them to a semi-secluded corner table.

“What can I start you off with to drink?” Balthazar asks.

Sam has to admit; the guy is a good host. Everyone except Dean, who gets a beer, asks for water. “What?” he asks, scowling, “I’m going to need something to get through this conversation.”

Cas links his hand with Dean’s on top of the table, and Dean’s scowl lessens. “So, Sarah, what do you do?” Dean asks, trying to make conversation.

“Sam, mostly,” she answers immediately.

Sam starts to choke on his own spit, but Dean just smirks. She’s a keeper, all right.

She laughs, then answers for real, “I’m an art appraiser, actually. Sam came in one day with a painting, and I couldn’t let the biggest masterpiece I’ve ever seen walk out the door.”

“Yeah, the painting,” Sam chimes in.

Sarah smiles good naturedly. Dean grins at the two, then asks, “What are you up to these days, Sammy?”

“I got a new job; I’m a defense attorney at a private firm,” he answers.

“Very impressive,” Cas says.

“Thanks,” Sam replies, and he swears he sees Dean swell up with pride at Cas’s compliment.

Balthazar returns with their drinks, and takes their orders. Sam and Sarah tell him what they want, and Balthazar just asks Cas and Dean if they want their usual, to which they both nod.

Dean takes a long drag of his beer, which raises a slight look of alarm on Cas’s face, and turns to Sam, saying, “Okay, Sammy. Shoot.”

Sam pounces on the opportunity to question Dean. “How’d you guys meet?” Sam decides he should probably throw Dean a softball before asking what he really wants.

Dean looks wistful for a moment before he clears his throat and begins to talk, with intermittent interruptions from Cas, of course.

 

_Dean was 22, had money in his pocket, and was looking to sow his wild oats. He had taken a long drive to Washington state, stopping in several sketchy motels, before he finally decided he was in a good place for a while. He was itching with his newfound freedom, but that thought led to Sammy, and he didn’t want to think about that. He started looking for a bar and finally found one he didn’t think would give him STDs from just stepping in the door. He walked in and discovered the bartender was an attractive dark haired man. He asked Dean in a pleasantly rumbling voice, “What can I get for you?”_

“You didn’t think I was attractive, you thought I was smoking hot, and my voice gave you _feelings,_ ” Cas sings.

“Yeah,” Dean agrees simply, kissing Cas quickly on the temple.

Sam pretends to gag, but Dean just rolls his eyes and continues his story.

_Dean wasn’t in the mood to care what other people thought about him, so he ordered a margarita. What? He likes the way they taste. When he ordered, the bartender’s lips curled up in a smile. “I had you pegged for a margarita”_

_Dean bristled, but he asked, “What was the give away?”_

_“You were a frozen one because you made my brain freeze when you walked in.”_

“I still can’t believe you said that. It didn’t even really make sense,” Dean groans to Cas.

“It worked, didn’t it?” he says, but nods for Dean to keep talking.

_Dean internally rolled his eyes at the awful pickup line. What was that even supposed to mean? The guy was hot, though, and Dean needed to release some tension. Dean looked up at the guy through his eyelashes, and the bartender said, “I get off at ten. You in?”_

_“I’ll be waiting,” Dean said, “I will switch to water after this, though. Full consent, you know?”_

_The bartender nodded his head. “Yeah, I don’t want to feel like I’m taking advantage of someone who’s barely conscious. I’m Castiel, by the way.”_

_“Castiel? Angel of Thursday? Looks like it’s your lucky day. I’m Dean.”_

_Castiel raised his eyebrows. Dean just shrugged. “My mom really liked angels. Said one was always watching over me. Just another load of shit she told me.”_

_“Well, you’ll definitely have an angel watching over you tonight,” Castiel leered, and then turned away to serve his other neglected patrons._

_Over the next hour, Castiel kept Dean supplied with soda and water while he waited. Dean was struck with the sudden urge to pee, but he had just gotten more soda and didn’t want it to be wasted. Castiel was all the way at the other side of the bar, so he couldn’t ask him to watch Dean’s drink while he went to the bathroom. Dean turned to the guy a couple stools away from him that he’d chatted with occasionally throughout the night. “Could you watch my drink for a second while I went to the bathroom?”_

_“No problem,” the man assured him._

“Dean?” Cas asks softly, “You don’t have to finish the story if you don’t want to.”

“No, I think it’s time for Sam to know. I’ve been trying to protect him for so long, but you’re a big boy now, right, Sammy?” Dean turns to him.

“Uh, yeah, Dean,” Sam says. He’s unsure what to think, and he can’t imagine where this story is going to lead that has both Dean and Cas so worked up.

_Dean returned from the bathroom. “Thanks, man,” he told the guy who watched his drink._

_“Sure thing,” the man said smoothly. If Dean wasn’t already committed to Castiel for the night, he would have considered trying to hook up with him. He looked rough, and that was what Dean wanted_. A good fuck would make me forget about my problems for a while, _Dean contemplated while taking a swig of his drink. He finished his soda, and declined when Castiel offered him another. “How much longer?” Dean whined._

_“About half an hour,” Castiel had answered._

_Half an hour later found Dean slumped over in his seat and slurring his words. The man who had watched his drink was trying to get Dean to leave the bar with him. Dean tried to tell him no, but he couldn’t make his mouth work. He seemed to be looking at the man from underwater. The man had Dean’s arms over his shoulder when Castiel came over. Castiel had about let Dean walk out the door._ Maybe he had just changed his mind, _Castiel had thought. That was before he noticed how unresponsive and unsteady Dean looked. Cas knew for a fact that he had barely drank anything that night, and suddenly it clicked for Castiel. “Hey!” Castiel shouted, “The guy obviously doesn’t want to go home with you. Just leave him alone, will you?”_

_The man sneered. “You want to come with me, don’t you, sweetheart?” the man asked, addressing Dean. Dean was still too out of it to give a reply._

_“Just leave him here and I won’t call the cops.” Castiel crossed his arms._

_The man glared at Castiel, but finally pushed Dean back onto the stool and walked out of the bar._

Sam nervously looks at Sarah, who is looking at Dean with an expression of pity. Sam still isn’t quite sure what Dean is alluding to happening to him, but he keeps listening.

_Castiel called one of the waiters over to help him get Dean to his car. “You know this guy? How much did he drink anyway?” the waiter asked._

_“Yeah, he’s a friend. He seems to have drank quite a lot,” Castiel answered._

_“Take care of him,” the waiter said._

_“I’ll do my best.” Castiel smoothed some of Dean’s hair back._

_Dean leaned into his touch, and Castiel immediately backed away. “No, no, no. Definitely not going there tonight, not now. What a shame,” Castiel muttered as his Lincoln Continental roared to life and made the short drive to his apartment._

_Castiel struggled with Dean’s almost-lifeless form all the way to the elevator. He sent a quick prayer to a deity he didn’t believe in to not let any of his neighbors see Dean and him. This was possibly the most suspicious looking thing Castiel had ever been involved in, and he had grown up with a prankster for a brother. He made it to his apartment door without passing anyone. He unlocked the door and led Dean to his bedroom. Castiel said a thank you to his past self for making his bed that morning. He tucked Dean into the bed, determining that it would be best to just let Dean sleep it off._

_Castiel shut off his bedroom light and smiled at the man snoring in his bed. This was not how he imagined his night was going to end when he first saw Dean walk in the bar in his leather jacket. Castiel made his way to his hall closet and grabbed an extra blanket. He turned on his TV for some background noise and settled down on his couch for the night._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand this is where the rape and the mature rating comes in. A shorter chapter today, but it definitely has a lot of important plot points. Happy reading!

_The next morning, Dean woke up to the smell of breakfast being made. He looked around groggily. He had no memory of last night past drinking… one margarita and several sodas. There’s no way he should have blacked out. He sat up sharply in the bed and pushed the homemade quilt off him. The quilt featured several angels, and it didn’t quite fit in with his picture of someone who would do this to him. Neither did the smell of breakfast, for that matter, but Dean was not a lightweight who was blackout drunk after one margarita. He followed his nose to the kitchen where he came across… Casti… Cassie… Cas making breakfast in a robe. Cas must have heard his entrance because he whirled around and said, “Good morning, Dean. How did you sleep?”_

_“Well, considering I can only remember half of my night, not that great.”_

_“How much do you know about roofies? I think a man put some in your drink last night. He was trying to take you home, but I told him I was going to call the cops on him,” Cas said._

Sam looks up at Dean with wide eyes. Dean looks tiredly back at him. “You got roofied?” Sam asks incredulously.

“Yeah, Sam. I did,” Dean sighs.

Castiel rubs his thumb in circles over Dean’s hand and whispers something in his ear. “Yeah, I’ve got an angel on my shoulder, now,” Dean answers with a tight smile.

“I thought…” Sam starts.

“That it only happens to girls? Only happens to people who are asking for it? Well it doesn’t,” Dean snaps.

“I’m really sorry you went through that, Dean,” Sarah says genuinely. Dean laughs hollowly, and Sam does not like the sound of it one bit. It sounds like Dean saying he has much worse things to share tonight, but Sam bids him to go on.

_Dean thought Cas looked honest enough, but he had just been drugged, so excuse him if his trust was running a bit low. “How do I know it wasn’t you? No offense, man, but I’m waking up in a strange house with no recollection of my night past a little after meeting you.”_

_“There’s no way for you to know for sure,” Castiel shrugged. “Do you remember going somewhere? I saw you come back, but I didn’t think anything of it. That was probably when it happened. Don’t you know you shouldn’t leave your drinks unattended?”_

_Dean did know that, he had been roofied once before this, but it can’t happen to someone twice, can it? He had let his guard down last night, and that was stupid of him. “Now that you mention, I did ask a guy to watch my drink while I went to the bathroom,” Dean said._

_“Kind of creepy, wore a wife beater, and had a straggly beard?” Cas described._

_“That’s the one,” Dean confirmed._

_“I’m sorry,” Cas said softly, “That shouldn’t happen to anyone.”_

_“It wasn’t your fault. I must just be asking for it or something, because that’s the second time it’s happened.” Dean chuckled without any mirth or expression on his face._

_Cas looked horrified. “Of course you weren’t asking for it! No one does! Nothing excuses others from drugging you!” Cas protested._

_Dean just shrugged. “Where are you staying?” Cas demanded._

_“Stranger danger and all that, Cas,” Dean said evasively._

_“Dean, you just spent the night in my bed,” Cas scoffed._

_“I don’t have a place. I’m just on a road trip,” Dean mumbled._

_“Please stay here for a while,” Cas said, “just until you get back up on your feet,” and Dean had found it incredibly easy to just say yes to Cas, and settle down for a while._

“So, uh, that’s the story of how we met,” Dean says, “but I guess I have something else I want to tell you, Sammy.”

Dean looks at Cas, who nods encouragingly. “I need some water,” Dean says, rubbing at his temples.

Cas flags down Balthazar and asks for some water for Dean. “Trouble in paradise?” he asks dryly.

“Not at all,” Castiel answers with a fond look at Dean.

Balthazar makes his exit, and Cas turns back to Dean. “You’re doing a great job. Pamela would be proud of you.”

“Who’s Pamela?” Sam asks, praying they don’t have some weird threesome thing going on or else his brain will explode.

“That’s my, uh, shrink. Cas talked me into seeing a therapist,” Dean answers.

Sam is shocked. Sure, everyone has issues, but Dean Winchester in therapy? He didn’t think their childhood was that bad…

Balthazar returns with Dean’s water. He takes a big gulp and takes an even bigger breath of air. Cas smiles at him reassuringly, and Dean begins to talk again. “So, you know how I said I got roofied twice?”

_Dean was 14. His dad had been gone for almost three weeks, and the money he had left Dean and Sam had dwindled down to nothing. This was the longest he had ever been missing before, and Dean was starting to get worried. Food was scarce, and Dean knew he had to do something to make sure Sammy didn’t go hungry. Dean found an old dive bar that night and went inside. He was hoping to be able to score some odd jobs to earn money. Dean couldn’t get a real job, not at 14, but he’d do what he could to make sure Sammy was provided for. A man caught Dean’s eye, so Dean sidled up next to him. The man bought Dean a drink, and Dean was so proud that the man considered him an adult. Dean asked the man if he needed any odd jobs done around his house, and the man replied by saying he could probably think of something that needed done. Dean was ecstatic; he was going to earn some actual money! He stayed to chat with the man for another twenty minutes when Dean started to feel dizzy. Dean had never drunk a whole bottle of beer before, so he chalked it up to that. Another five minutes passed, and Dean was unable to move any of his limbs. The man smirked and practically carried Dean out to his truck. The man drove and drove, to his house, Dean guessed, and finally pulled in somewhere. It was just the parking lot of a liquor store, though. He dragged Dean to an alley and roughly pushed down Dean’s pants. The man took his time unbuttoning his own and pulling down his boxers. Dean watched in horror but was unable to do anything as the man rubbed his dick to an erection. The man shoved a finger into Dean’s virgin hole, but Dean couldn’t do anything to try and stop the man. He slumped against the alley wall. The man shoved his fingers into Dean’s mouth to get some lubrication, and then two fingers found their way into Dean. Dean would have cried out if he could. The man scissored his fingers in Dean and then pulled them out. Dean heard the man spit on something, and then he saw white as he felt like he was being split open. The man pounded in and out of Dean’s hole. As the man kept hitting Dean’s prostate, Dean’s own erection rose against his will. “Enjoying ourselves, are we?” the man whispered filthily in his ear._

_Dean wanted to protest, but his mouth still wasn’t working for him. The man kept at it relentlessly until Dean felt something tear. He felt the warmth of his own blood, and then he felt a different kind of warmth. The man pulled his softening cock out of Dean and left a twenty-dollar bill in his pocket before walking away back to his truck. Dean laid on the cold alley ground for a few hours, until he was finally in control of his limbs again. Dean cautiously got to his feet and pulled up his pants. He could feel drying blood and cum, and a sharp pain he would probably have to do something about later, but he just ignored it and kept walking. He wandered until he saw a familiar street. He slowly made his way back to the hotel room where he saw Sammy was still asleep. Dean smiled in relief, and limped to the shower._

Sam and Sarah look at Dean with abject horror. “Dean, I’m so sorry. Fuck, man. You didn’t have to do that. I could have gone hungry a couple of nights. It would’ve been okay.” Sam says.

“It’s not your fault, Sammy. Just the effects of a shitty life. But, uh, still not done,” Dean replies, and then takes a breath to continue.

_Dean attempted to wash away all his shame, but he found it was an impossible task. He cleaned the dried blood and semen and watched it swirl down the drain. He stepped out of the shower and dried off with a towel. He wrapped it around his waist and walked out to check on Sammy. He was finally awake, and he said blearily, “Dean? Where were you?”_

_Dean avoided his question and pulled the twenty dollars out of his pocket. “Want some breakfast?” He shot Sammy a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, but Sam didn’t notice._

_“Yeah!” Sammy cheered._

_Dean took Sam’s hand and led him to a diner down the street, gritting his teeth every step of the way. Dean was sure that asshole had torn something, but there wasn’t really anything he could do about it. It’s not like he had money to go see a doctor, and even if he did, he wasn’t going to go tell a doctor that, what? He got raped? He’d just get laughed at. Dean pushed that all out of his mind and focused on Sammy. If Sammy was okay, it was all worth it._

_They ate a good breakfast, with lots of pancakes and bacon, and still had some money left over. They went back to the hotel and watched TV. Eventually, their dad returned._ About time, _Dean thought bitterly._

_They moved on to a new town, and eventually Dean stopped wanting to cry every time he had a bowel movement. John would get a new job, lose it, and they would move again. Dean resented his dad for uprooting them so often. How was Sammy supposed to get an education if they didn’t stay at the same school for more than a month? Finally, John got a job, and they were at the same school for three whole months. John had even started looking at apartments. Dean was holding his breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mentions of sex work and a mild panic attack. Nothing is described in too great of detail. By the way, I have finished the story and it clocks in around 13 thousand words. I hope you like this chapter!

_One night, John up and left. He was gone for two weeks before Dean started to get desperate. Sammy seemed to whine nonstop about being hungry, and Dean knew he had to do something. He thought back to the twenty dollars that man had left in his pocket that awful night. Dean wondered if maybe he could do that on his own terms to make some cash. Dean found a bar and flirted with the men who ogled his pretty face and body. Eventually, one of the men led Dean to a secluded area. “Twenty dollars for a blow job,” Dean said, more bravely than he felt._

_The man nodded and pushed Dean down to his knees. Dean unzipped the man’s jeans and pulled out his repulsive, limp cock. Dean gave it a few quick pumps with his hand before taking it into his mouth. He just wanted this to be over as quickly as possible. He swirled his tongue around the head of the man’s cock, but eventually he just let the man fuck his mouth until he came. Dean spit out the salty cum. The man handed Dean the twenty, and Dean headed back to the hotel._

“Jesus,” Sam breathed, but Dean kept going like he didn’t hear Sam say anything at all.

_Sammy was waiting on the couch when Dean entered. Dean cringed; he really didn’t want to deal with Sam now. “I’ve been waiting for you!” he announced._

_“Sorry, buddy. I was out with my friends,” Dean said, thinking quickly._

_Sam seemed to accept this without question and just patted the seat beside him. Dean sat down and let the mindlessness of the cartoon leach the tension out of his bones._

_At 16, Dean had gotten a job busing tables, but it still wasn’t enough to feed them and save money for Sam’s college. Dean continued selling his body until he was 22. At some point, he had gotten over his fear of penetration. He could charge a lot more for it, and it wasn’t so bad if the men used copious amounts of lube. Dean made sure he provided it so the men wouldn’t be afraid to be generous. Every time Dean felt dirty and used, he just thought of all the money he was shoving in a bank account for Sam and let that thought get him through._

_Dean was shocked when the day came that Sam got news of his full ride. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Sam was smart or hadn’t earned the scholarship; no, Sam was the smartest person he knew. Dean had spent the last eight years of his life degrading himself so that Sam could have it better than he did, and now it turned out all that money he had amassed was useless. Dean stuck around until Sam finished college and got his first job, but his mental health was in decline. It was getting to the point where he couldn’t look at Sam anymore without being reminded of the countless johns he had sucked off or worse. Eventually, Dean just left. He knew it made him a coward, just like his mom and dad, but at least he had always provided for Sam._

Cas rubs Dean’s back. Sam can hear Dean’s shallow breaths, and Cas whispers, “Hey, look at me. You’re here, with me. Just breathe.”

Cas exaggerates breathing in and out at a slower pace, and Dean begins to emulate him. Cas smiles at him in relief. “Thanks, Cas. Sorry about that, Sam,” Dean says, not meeting Sam’s eyes.

“Damn it, Dean! We just spent who knows how long listen to you talk about all the ways you messed up your own life to provide for me, so don’t tell me you’re sorry! You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for!” Sam burst out.

“I just always wanted to be there for you, you know? I’m the older brother. I have to be strong for you,” Dean says.

“I can take care of myself now, Dean. I’m so lucky that I had you to look after me when I was a kid, but let me repay you back somehow, Dean,” Sam says earnestly.

“I just really want to see you more, Sammy.”

“Dean, you were the one who left.” Sam looks at him incredulously.

“I never wanted to leave you, Sammy. I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I wanted to have some time to be young and wild. I spent all of my time working when I was a kid, and then you got your full ride… It kind of invalidated everything I had been doing to make sure you were able to get away from Dad, and I couldn’t believe that I had let myself be used like that for nothing,” Dean chokes out.

Sam can see tears forming in his eyes, and again, he’s struck with how much different this Dean is than the one who had left him three years ago. “I love you, Dean,” Sam tells him.

He doesn’t know what else to say. Dean had sacrificed so much so Sam could have everything. “I love you, too,” Dean replies, wiping at his eyes furiously.

Balthazar reappears with their food. He chooses not to comment on Dean’s red eyes, focusing on the food instead. He gives each person their food and tells them to enjoy. “If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to let me know, Cassie,” Balthazar says in a way that Sam understands means more than the food.

“So, uh, why a flower shop? And how did you get roped into seeing a therapist?” Sam asks hesitantly. He’s not sure if he wants to hear anymore of Dean’s stories, but he wants to understand exactly what Dean has been up to for all of these years.

“Another long story, Sammy. This one’s not quite so bad though,” Dean smiles.

“Not bad at all,” Cas adds, looking at Dean with contentment.

_Dean had finally gotten his feet back under him. The hollow feeling inside him had subsided, and he could finally think about his past again without wanting to curl up in a ball and cry at everything he had left behind him. Cas had just gotten home from his job as an accountant when he found Dean going through the house and packing his possessions that were scattered around. “What are you doing?” Cas asked dumbly._

_He knew Dean would leave him at some point, sure, but he didn’t think it’d be quite so soon, and he really didn’t think it would cause this stirring of emotions inside him. “It’s really meant a lot, but I don’t want to intrude any more than I already have,” Dean said, not meeting Cas’s eyes._

_“You’re not an intrusion at all,” Cas said fervently, wishing Dean would change his mind._

_He didn’t know at what point the man had become a fixture in his home. It was nice for Castiel to have someone to come home to at night and to confide in. Cas had told Dean about all his ridiculous coworkers and even more ridiculous family members, and in turn, Dean had started to tell Cas about his childhood. Cas sensed that there was a lot more Dean wasn’t letting on, but Cas didn’t pry. There was plenty of time._

_Except now it seemed that time had run out. Cas cursed himself. Their one night stand attempt had never even been brought up in the past month. He hadn’t wanted to push himself on Dean when he obviously just needed some time to get his thoughts straight. “Where are you staying?” Cas heard himself say._

_Dean just smiled sadly at him. “I’ll find somewhere. I just don’t want to overstay my welcome, is all.”_

_“Dean, if you want to leave because of me, just say so,” Cas said and braced himself for the response._

_“Of course not, Cas. You didn’t ask to have to take care of someone who barely holds himself together most days. You’ve already been more kind than I ever expected,” Dean reassured him._

_“Please stay,” Cas murmured before tilting his head up to kiss Dean briefly._

_Dean just stared at him in shock, and Cas readied himself for Dean to start yelling and berating him for ever thinking Dean could be attracted to someone like him. Dean surprised him when he wrapped his arms around Cas and joined their mouths in a fiery kiss. Dean nudged Cas backwards until Cas felt the wall behind him. Dean hitched Cas’s legs up and carried him to his bedroom where Dean dropped him onto the bed. Dean crawled onto the bed after him-_

“Okay! Okay! We all see where this is going, no need to go into detail, Dean!” Sam cries hurriedly.

He has seen way too much of Dean already, seemingly always in a compromising situation with some girl, so he definitely doesn’t need to hear about his brother’s sex life, too. Dean just smirks at him. “I’ll try to keep it PG for you.”

“Please and thank you,” Sam responds.

“Okay, well anyway, we had crazy mind blowing sex,” Dean continues while Cas’s face steadily becomes more and more red.

_Dean turned over to face Cas. He was still breathing hard, and they were both sticky, but neither of them wanted to move. “So you really want me to stay?” Dean asked, still in disbelief._

_“Yes, really,” Cas said, and shut him up with a sweet kiss. Their breathing became steadier as they both drifted off to sleep._

_The next morning, Cas saw Dean was still in his bed, so he had to pinch himself to make sure this all hadn’t been a dream. He had never imagined- okay, okay, he had definitely imagined this in graphic detail, but he had never thought it would actually happen. He was overjoyed to have a chance with Dean. Cas’s staring must have woken Dean up because his eyelids fluttered open. Dean gave him a sleepy smile and pulled Cas closer to him. “I’d be happy to stay in this moment forever,” Dean sighed._

_Eventually, they managed to make it out of bed. Dean searched the refrigerator with his nose wrinkled in concentration. “Cas!” he finally called, “How do you not have anything to eat in here? No bacon or eggs? There must have really been something wrong with me this month if I survived off of this.”_

_“There’s plenty of fruit and vegetables, Dean. I have egg whites you can use, too,” Cas answered._

Sam busts out in laughter. “Good luck trying to get him to eat healthy, Cas.”

“Actually, he’s started eating a lot of food that’s good for his heart. The only thing he refuses to compromise with is pie,” Cas says with a smile in Dean’s direction. Dean sticks his tongue out at Sam before starting up again.

_Dean squinted at Cas in distaste. “Come on, I’m taking you out to breakfast to celebrate,” Dean said._

_“Celebrate what?” Cas asked curiously._

_“Me finally pulling my head out of my ass and realizing I have a chance at some happiness here with you.” Dean smiled at him._

“Dean Winchester realizing he can be happy? You’re just making this up, now,” Sam feigns disbelief.

“Shut up, bitch,” Dean says, a smile playing at his lips.

_Cas surged forward to kiss Dean deeply. He pushed his tongue at the seam of Dean’s lips, but Dean pulled away. “Breakfast first, Cas.”_

_Cas pouted but let Dean lead him out the door and into the elevator. When the elevator doors closed, Cas took the opportunity to press against Dean and continue their kiss from earlier. They were so engrossed in each other, they didn’t notice the elevator doors open again until they heard a throat clearing. They pushed each other away. “I am so sorry!” Dean said, mortified._

_Cas recognized the newcomer; it was his neighbor, Ellen. “I’m just happy you boys finally stopped dancing around each other. Treat him right, Cas,” Ellen said._

_She walked out of the elevator when it came to a stop on the first floor, leaving Dean and Cas in silence. Dean just shrugged and grabbed Cas’s hand. They walked together to the Impala. Dean was driving to a small diner when a_ for sale _sign caught his eye. He turned the Impala as sharply as he could to pull into a parking lot. Cas had been close to falling back asleep, so he just looked around groggily. “Come on, Cas! Let’s check this out,” Dean said excitedly._

_Cas got out of the car and looked at Dean in confusion. “Are you going to buy this shop?” he asked._

_“I have to check it out first, obviously,” Dean answered as he tugged Cas towards the building. “I’ve always wanted to have my own business. I’d really like to open a flower shop,” Dean said shyly, ducking his head._

_“I think that’s a great idea,” Cas reassured him._

_Dean’s face lit up at Cas’s approval. “Uh, my mom really liked gardening and stuff, so before she left, she taught me some. I really liked the simplicity of them, so I kept learning more about flowers even after she left. I took some floriculture classes at the community college while Sammy was at Stanford. I never knew each flower could mean something like they do,” Dean gushed._

_Cas smiled and kissed Dean on the cheek. He knew Dean’s mom had left him, but he rarely talked about his brother or his dad. He was going to take this as a good sign, he decided. Maybe Dean would even tell him everything soon. In the meantime, he was going to do everything he could to make Dean see he could have some happiness after all._

_They checked out the building together, and Dean declared it perfect for a floral shop. He wrote down the number on the sign and vowed to call after breakfast. “Thanks for looking at that with me, babe,” Dean said once they were back in the Impala._

_Dean instantly froze._ Babe? _It had just kind of slipped out. He looked over at Cas to gauge his reaction, but Cas was just looking at him with something akin to adoration. “No problem,” Cas answered easily._

_Dean smiled at him and finished driving to the diner. They walked into the diner hand in hand where they were seated at a corner booth. They ordered their food, and Cas turned to Dean. “So where exactly are you getting the money to buy this shop?”_

_Dean rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I worked a lot as a kid. I have the money.”_

_“That seems like a lot of money for a kid to make working a summer job or something.” Cas squinted at him curiously._

_“Can we talk about this later? I want to be honest with you, Cas, especially now that we’re… well, whatever this is, but I really don’t want to talk about it here.”_

_“Of course, honey,” Cas said, and dropped a kiss on Dean’s temple._

“Aww,” Sam cooed, “Pet names are so cute.”

“Shut up, and stop interrupting me, bitch,” Dean reprimanded.

_Dean’s insides squirmed at Cas’s gentle displays of affection. After everything Dean had been through, he was ready for gentle. “Something wrong?” Cas asked, concerned at Dean’s sudden silence._

_“Nope, everything is perfect,” he said and pulled Cas into a kiss that probably wasn’t quite appropriate for public settings._

_For the second time that day, their kiss was interrupted. The waitress put Dean’s pancakes and Cas’s omelet on the table before shooting them a wink and turning away. Dean smiled sheepishly at Cas and started shoveling his pancakes in. “Remember to breathe, Dean,” Cas said teasingly._

_“You weren’t so concerned about that last night,” Dean shot back._

_Cas choked on his omelet and blushed red. Dean just laughed, and they finished their breakfast in companionable silence._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm proud to say Dean doesn't have to suffer any in this chapter besides going to therapy. Only one more chapter left now! Let me know what you guys think (I'm desperate for approval). Happy reading!

_On the car ride home, Dean began to tell Cas where exactly he had gotten all of his money from. Cas stared at him in mortification. “I hope I didn’t push you into anything you didn’t want to do last night,” Cas said softly._

_“Not at all,” Dean reassured him, “That was… amazing, actually. I don’t even remember the last time I had sex with a person whose name I knew. I mean, I know I’m not 100 percent over it, but I think I might be getting there.”_

_Cas just set his hand on Dean’s leg as he drove, and Dean felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of him. He had known Cas was practically a saint, he had put up with Dean’s lethargic ass for a month, after all, but he hadn’t expected him to take it so well. He had thought Cas would be upset with him, upset with himself for having sex with a used piece of trash. Cas must have sensed Dean’s troubled thoughts because he started rubbing soothing circles onto Dean’s thigh. “I don’t regret anything about last night, Dean.”_

_Dean smiled in relief. “Me neither, Cas. But, um, if we want to keep doing this, I should probably get tested for STDs. I mean, I always made them use a condom, but I don’t want to put you at risk.”_

_Cas smiled softly at him. “I can call if you want. And Dean? Don’t get mad, but I think you should see a therapist.”_

_Dean almost brought the car to a complete stop. “Do you really think I’m that broken?”_

_“Not at all!” Cas rushed to explain, “You’ve gone through a lot, and I think it would be good for you. It’s awesome that you told me all this, but it’d be even better for you to tell a professional.”_

_“I’ll think about it,” Dean grumbled._

_They made it home, and Dean tugged Cas towards the bedroom. Cas let himself be led to the bed, but he pushed his hands against Dean’s chest. Dean immediately backed off. “Are you okay?” he asked in concern._

_“I’m fine, Dean. I just want to call about your appointment before I forget,” Cas said, giving him a devilish grin._

_Dean huffed a sigh of impatience and motioned for Cas to hurry up and get on with it. Cas scheduled Dean a screening two days away. By the time Cas hung up, Dean was on the bed and stroking himself. “Someone seems impatient,” Cas laughed, “But seriously, you don’t just want to do this as an unhealthy coping mechanism, right?”_

_Dean just leaned forward to tug Cas into a kiss, but Cas still resisted. “Just promise me you’ll seriously consider the therapy,” he said._

_“Fine, I will, even though that’s for girls who like to talk about their feelings,” Dean muttered._

_Cas gave him a stern glare but yanked him forward, making their lips collide. Cas licked into Dean’s mouth, and Dean reached between them to unbutton Cas’s pants. Dean had undressed while Cas was on the phone, and Cas was still wearing entirely too many layers._

Sam has been staring at Dean for the past few minutes in disbelief. It seems like Dean has completely forgotten he’s talking to Sam as he continues to tell his story in graphic detail. “Dean!” Sam exclaims, “And you really had sex before you even went to get tested? What the hell, Dean? You’re lucky you both don’t have gonorrhea or something,”

“We used a condom, but what can I say? I couldn’t resist,” Dean blows a kiss in Cas’s direction.

Cas just rolls his eyes in response. “Anyway, it’s kind of hard to think that you’re too manly for therapy when someone else is balls deep in you,” Dean says.

“TMI, Dean!” Sam screeches.

Balthazar had been heading in their direction, but he must have heard Dean’s latest statement because he makes a sharp right to veer away from them as Dean continues the story. 

_Dean had just had the best sex of his life. Cas’s touch seemed to erase the grip Dean’s former johns held on him. Dean pulled Cas closer to him and planted a kiss into his messy hair. “Everything okay?” Cas asked tiredly._

_“Peachy keen, baby,” Dean answered with a smile even though he immediately cringed at himself._

_Cas must have liked it though, because he kissed Dean gently on the lips. After he pulled away, Dean took a breath and said, “So, do you know any good therapists?”_

_Cas beamed at him and immediately took his phone from the bedside table and presented a list of people to Dean. Dean looked through their pictures and settled on a woman who looked like she didn’t take crap from anyone. She was wearing a leather jacket which Dean could appreciate. “Pamela Barnes?” Cas asked, reading over his shoulder._

_“Why not?” Dean said with a laugh. He never would have imagined in a million years he’d be going to therapy, but he was really going to go. He wanted to be a better person for Cas, someone who Cas could lean on if he needed to. Dean had spent his whole life being the strong one, so he knew the toll it could take._

_Dean’s STD screening came and went. He was clean, so he and Cas celebrated appropriately. Dean called the number about the shop and set up an appointment with a real estate agent. Everything was falling into place, and he was feeling on top of the world until he attended his first therapy session._

_Cas insisted on driving him which Dean grumbled about but secretly appreciated. He drew the line at Cas walking him in, though. “I’m a grown man, Cas,” Dean protested._

_Cas just shrugged his shoulders and gave Dean a peck on the lips. “I’ll be waiting.”_

_“You’re really going to sit out here the whole time?” Dean asked incredulously._

_“I brought my book,” Cas said with another shrug._

_Dean was struck again with how lucky he was to have such a caring boyfriend and pulled Cas part way across the center console to bring their lips together. Several seconds later, Cas pulled away. He said, “Nice try, but I can’t have you being late to your first appointment.”_

_Dean pouted, but he got out of the car and headed to the double doors. Dean could feel a sweat break out on his neck as he got closer. He took a deep breath and pushed through the doors. He gave the receptionist a nervous smile and told him his name. “Dr. Barnes will be right with you. You can have a seat right there in the meantime,” the man said pleasantly. Dean took another shaky breath and sat down on the surprisingly comfortable chairs. He was called back relatively quickly to a cozy, sunlit office room. “I’m Pam,” his therapist said, sticking her hand out for him to shake._

_“Dean,” he replied, taking her hand._

_Pam gave Dean a once over and smiled to herself. “So what brings you in today? Can’t say I see many tough guys like you walking through here.”_

_Dean hesitated, but stiffly answered, “My boyfriend thought it would be a good idea.”_

_Pam grinned even wider. “I see. You’re a bit of a mystery, Dean.”_

_“Not really,” he said, “I’m an open book.”_

_“Somehow I doubt that. So why does your boyfriend think you need therapy?”_

_“I guess you could say I had a pretty messed up childhood.”_

“That’s an understatement,” Sam mutters, but Sarah quickly shushes him.

_Pam waited patiently until Dean felt compelled to talk more to fill up the empty space._

_“My mom left me and my brother when I was 14. My dad was an alcoholic and couldn’t even keep food on the table. I was looking for odd jobs to feed my brother when I got roofied and raped, and that kind of led me down the rabbit hole of sex for money. I left home after my brother graduated from college. I got roofied again, but Cas was looking out for me. So, now, here I am, I guess,” Dean cringed to hear himself tell his life story so succinctly, like it didn’t even bother him, but Pam’s professional façade remained untouched._

_“Well, that’s a great start, Dean. Eventually, we’ll talk about all of that, but why don’t you just tell me about your brother for now.”_

_Dean brightened; he could definitely do that. He told Pam all about Sammy, and she effortlessly led the conversation to more touchy subjects. Before the session was over, Dean found tears dripping down his face as he told Pam just how dirty and broken that first time had made him feel. Pam gave Dean a sincere smile when she told him just how impressed she was with him. “I know talking about these things probably makes you feel pretty crappy, but it’s not healthy to just repress everything. You have to talk for things to get better and for you to get over it. You already made a lot of progress today, but I think you should come in every week for now,” Pam said._

_“See you next week, then,” Dean responded._

_Dean gave the receptionist a weak smile as he passed him on his way out. Dean’s eyes locked onto Cas’s crappy Continental, and he made his way towards it. He crawled into the passenger seat, feeling exhausted. “Are you okay?” Cas asked in concern._

_Dean didn’t reply. Silent sobs were racking through him. He had managed to mostly hold it together in front of Pam, and even Cas, the first time he told him everything, but now Dean felt rubbed raw. Cas set his book down to thread his fingers through Dean’s and just sat there in silence until Dean’s crying subsided. “Feel better now?” Cas asked softly._

_“A little bit,” Dean answered, and amazingly, he was telling the truth._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the beginning of the end! There's some mild homophobia in this chapter but nothing major. I hope you guys have enjoyed the story so far, and happy reading!

_When Dean got home, he found his cellphone laying abandoned on the table. He powered it on to find he had a voicemail. He listened in wonder as his realtor’s voice told him his offer had been accepted for the corner shop. Dean whirled around and gave Cas a sloppy kiss. Cas pulled away. “Not that I’m complaining or anything, but like ten minutes ago you were crying, so what is this for?”_

_“I got the shop!” Dean yelled._

_Cas beamed at him and pulled Dean back in. Dean pulled Cas back to their bedroom, never separating as they progressed down the hallway. When they finally made it to the bedroom, Cas slammed the door shut and pushed Dean against it, kissing him desperately. Dean’s fingers fumbled with Cas’s belt-_

“Literally is all you guys do have sex? Jesus, you’re like rabbits,” Sam tells them with a look of disgust, “Seriously, I let you describe your kiss because I think that’s all it’s going to be, and then suddenly you’re tearing each other’s clothes off!”

Sarah leans over to give Sam a tender kiss. That shuts him up for Dean to continue.

_Dean spent the next few weeks fixing up his shop, spending lots of quality time with Cas, if you catch Dean’s drift, and attending his therapy sessions. Dean really liked Pam. She didn’t make him feel like he was broken or not good enough for Cas. Honestly, without Pam, Dean’s not sure if he would have had enough continued motivation to renovate his new shop. Dean knew if he didn’t have Cas, he never would have finished. Even though Dean protested, Cas took a week off of work to help. He also called his brother, Gabriel, who apparently ran his own candy business. Gabriel immediately invited himself to come stay with Dean and Cas to help them. “He’s a little… grating, but he really knows what he’s doing,” Cas assured Dean._

_“I’m sure he does, babe. I’m glad you’ll get to see your brother, too,” Dean said and planted a kiss on top of Cas’s head. Dean and Cas managed to tear out the counters in the shop before they got distracted. Dean was wiping sweat off his brow when he was startled by Cas suddenly kissing him. Dean kissed back enthusiastically, licking into Cas’s mouth._

“Fight me, Sammy, because we had sex again,” Dean says before Sam gets the chance to comment.

Cas’s lips quirk up into a smile. “We had to christen the place, after all.”

Sam gives the two men his best bitch face and motions for Dean to keep telling the story.

_Dean was lying boneless on top of Cas when they were startled by a sharp knock at the door. Cas groaned, and Dean gave him a confused look. “Expecting someone, honey?”_

_“If I know anything, it’s probably Gabriel,” Cas muttered._

_“Did you even give him the address of the shop?” Dean asked._

_“No,” Cas said petulantly._

_“All right, then. I guess I better put some pants on.”_

_“Why? I’m enjoying the view, Prince Charming,” an unfamiliar voice said._

_“What the fuck? How did you get in here? Cas, is this Gabriel or just some random creep?” Dean asked, his voice starting to raise._

_“Dean, meet my brother, Gabriel,” Cas said tiredly._

_Gabriel held his hand out for Dean to shake. He took it but asked, “Seriously, how did you get in here? I locked that door.”_

_Gabriel shrugged. “Troubled childhood, picking locks impresses girls, you know how it goes. Anyhow, the much more interesting question is why neither of you have pants on. You didn’t tell me it was so serious, Cassie, I’m offended.”_

_“Gabriel, I don’t just invite you over to meet people I’m not serious about. There’s no point putting a fling through that,” Cas added with a smirk._

_Gabriel held a hand to his chest and staggered back. “I’m wounded, baby bro. Okay, well let’s get this show on the road. What kind of a shop is this going to be, Dean-o?”_

_“A flower shop,” Dean answered shyly._

_“Awesome. We definitely need more of those,” Gabriel said sincerely, “What are you calling it?”_

_“Uh, I actually hadn’t thought of that,” Dean said_

_Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Well, don’t get a bee in your bonnet about it. You have some time, I guess.”_

_“I like that,” Cas mused, “_ Bee in Your Bonnet Floral _.”_

_Dean smiled and kissed the corner of Cas’s mouth. “Sounds like a winner to me.”_

_Gabriel made vomiting noises, but then returned to seriousness. “Okay, so we could do a bee theme thing on the inside if you wanted. Black and yellow, maybe some bees painted on the wall.”_

_Cas looked up at Dean pleadingly. “I didn’t know you liked bees so much,” Dean commented._

_“He’s been crazy about them since we’ve been kids. Somehow he’s never even got stung,” Gabriel huffs._

_“If it’ll make you happy, sweetheart,” Dean told Cas._

“Are you guys even real? What the heck, Dean?” Sam interjects.

“What?” Dean asks defensively.

“Sweetheart, babe, ‘if it’ll make you happy,’” Sam mocks.

“I think it’s nice,” Sarah says with her arms crossed, shooting Sam a look.

“Yes, dear,” Sam mumbles.

Dean gives Sarah a grin and continues his story once again.

_Gabriel stayed long past his welcome, but even Dean had to admit he knew what he was doing. The shop slowly started coming together. Cas went back to work which left Dean to deal with Gabriel for eight hours straight every day._

_One day, Gabriel had put hair dye in Dean’s shampoo. Dean had spent the better part of two hours scrubbing at his hair, but had finally given up when his hair started to resemble some semblance of its original color. Dean stormed out the door, followed by Gabriel yelling, “It’ll wash out in like a week! Stop being such a baby!”_

_Dean drove around for a while until it was eleven. He stopped by a burger place to pick up lunch for Cas; then, he drove to Cas’s accounting firm. He had never been there before, never had reason, but Cas had left the address on the fridge for him when he was still moping alone at home in case he needed anything. Dean walked through the door and gave the receptionist his best winning smile. “I’m here to see Cas,” he said, holding up the bag of burgers and fries._

_“_ Mr. Novak _is a very busy man, and I doubt he has time for whatever it is you want with him. He doesn’t do just anyone’s accounting for free, you know,” the woman retorted, giving Dean an icy stare._

“Ouch, you just got the third degree, Dean. Guess you finally met someone your charm doesn’t work on,” Sam laughs.

“Shut up and just let me finish,” Dean grumbles.

_“Can you just call him and say Dean is here? I’m pretty sure he’d want to see me,” Dean pleaded._

_“Fine,” the woman sighed, reaching for her phone, “Mr. Novak? You have a visitor. Someone named Dean?”_

_She listened to her phone for a moment then looked back up at Dean, taking in his appearance. Dean shifted self-consciously. He probably should have changed out of the flannel that he’s worn for the past three days. “He said he’d see you in his office. Fourth door on the left,” the receptionist said, lips curled in distaste._

_“Thank you so much,” Dean said with a pasted-on smile as he made his way to Cas’s office._

_He knocked softly on the door and smiled in relief when Cas opened the door. Cas gave Dean a peck on the lips before pulling him into his office._

“Please don’t have sex in his office, please don’t have sex in his office,” Sam chants before Sarah swats him on the leg.

Dean and Cas share conspiring smiles.

_“Did Naomi give you a hard time? She’s a bit of a homophobe,” Cas said and looked at Dean with some concern._

_“Yeah, she did, but it’s fine. I’m fine,” Dean said. He proved it by dropping the burgers onto Cas’s desk and pulling Cas closer to him. Cas kissed Dean hungrily before pulling away. “Why are you here, anyway? Not that I don’t appreciate it,” he added quickly, squeezing a handful of Dean’s ass._

_He scrutinized Dean more carefully and asked in bewilderment, “Is your hair darker?”_

_Dean just huffed and pulled Cas closer to him. Dean ground his thigh into Cas’s crotch, and Cas arched against him._

“I’m not even giving you the benefit of the doubt anymore. You’re dry humping. You’re done talking,” Sam says assertively.

“Yeah, we totally had sex in his office. We had to prove something to that Naomi.” Dean grins.

“You sure showed her,” Sam mumbles.

_Dean carefully straightened Cas’s tie and tried to smooth his hair into some semblance of order. He didn’t want to give anyone at the office the wrong idea of Cas. They had just settled down and were eating their burgers when a balding man burst into Cas’s office without knocking. Dean exchanged a look with Cas, and he knew they were both glad they didn’t mess around earlier. “Yes, Mr. Adler?” Cas asked._

_“Castiel, I needed you to find the error in those books yesterday,” the man said._

_“I put that report on your desk two days ago,” Cas replied with a sigh._

_“Oh.” The man looked chastened, but then he seemed to notice Dean, “Who is this?”_

_“This is my boyfriend, Dean,” Cas said._

_His voice dared Mr. Adler to comment, so of course he did. “Ah. Well, I expected better of you, Castiel. I hope your work doesn’t suffer as a result of this,_ phase _.”_

_Cas rolled his eyes and grabbed Dean’s hand. “Considering I’ve been going through this phase since I was fifteen, I doubt you’ll notice a change in my work, sir,” Cas said stiffly._

_“I see. Well, I’ll leave you to it, then, Castiel,” Mr. Adler said and exited the room._

_Dean looked at Cas worriedly. “Shit, baby. I thought they knew. I’m so sorry. Shit, shit.”_

_“Hey. Dean, calm down. It’s not your fault everyone here is an asshole. I’ve been thinking about getting a new job for a while now, anyway. Maybe this is the push I needed,” Cas reassured him with a small smile. “Why were you here, anyway?” he changed the topic._

_Dean chuckled and told Cas about Gabriel putting hair dye in his shampoo. Cas laughed and gave Dean another kiss. “I like it. It brings out your eyes.”_

_Dean preened and gave Cas a lingering kiss before leaving. “I’ll see you at home,” he said._

_Dean walked past Naomi and made sure to give her a large smile. “Have a_ fabulous _day!” he chirped and laughed to himself at her scandalized expression._

_The days passed by. Eventually, the shop was finished, and Gabriel finally went home. Cas was still stuck in the same job, though. His coworkers treated him like crap ever since Dean had visited, and they discovered he was gay. Frankly, Cas was getting tired of it. The only way he could still handle working there was because coming home to Dean each night put him in such a good mood._

_Dean had the official opening of his shop, and he was met with decent business. He was the only flower shop in the city, after all, and word spread rapidly. He had enough business that he wanted to hire a driver to deliver flowers and someone to help him so he could actually have a day off each week. He hired a cheerful, red haired woman named Charlie to help him around the shop, and a man with a Southern drawl named Benny to be his driver. To celebrate his new driver, Dean had Benny’s first stop be at Cas’s work. Dean spent even more time than usual on the bouquet, making sure it said exactly what he wanted._

_Dean wasn’t sure if he accomplished that or not. When Cas walked through the door that night, his first words were, “I quit my job.”_

“I’m glad. They sounded like they were grade A jerks,” Sarah says.

“Yeah, I definitely wasn’t getting any good vibes from there,” Sam adds.

“That was the best decision I ever made. Well, second best,” he amends with a smile in Dean’s direction.

_Dean stared at him in shock. “Uh… Good for you, baby. What are your plans now?”_

_“I don’t know,” Cas said and pressed himself against Dean’s chest._

_Dean automatically wrapped his arms around Cas. “It’ll be okay. We’ll figure something out. The shop is doing good. You can take some time off, if you want,” Dean offered._

_Cas sniffled. “I don’t even know why I quit. Your flowers got delivered, and they were so beautiful. They didn’t have anything nice to say, though, just, ‘I see you’re still with that guy, Castiel,’ so I quit. I just can’t stand it anymore. That was so thoughtful of you, but they can’t see that I’m the happiest that I’ve ever been or that we have a great relationship or that-“_

_“Hey, slow down, honey. It’s okay. Why don’t you go lay down for a while and I’ll make us supper. We’ll figure it out,” Dean soothed Cas._

_Cas retreated back to their bedroom, and Dean brought him his supper when it was ready. Dean handed Cas the bowl of pasta and crawled into the bed next to him. Dean laid there against Cas’s side, giving Cas the comfort of his presence. Dean broke the silence, “You know, I could really use an accountant now that the flower shop’s business is picking up.”_

_“Really?” Cas looked up at him with a hopeful grin._

_“Definitely! I’ve been making poor Charlie struggle with it,” Dean answered._

_“Will the shop be enough money for both of us?” Cas asked._

_Dean shrugged. “I would think so, but even if it’s not, maybe you could just pick up a couple of jobs here and there organizing people’s books for them.”_

_“I’m so lucky to have you. I love you,” Cas sighed in contentment._

_Dean stared at Cas in shock. The last time he had heard those words was when Sammy was still a little snot-nosed kid who idolized Dean. He hadn’t realized how nice it was for someone to say they loved him, or how true it was when he said, “I love you, too.”_

Dean and Cas smile dopily at each other. “And that’s the story of how I bought a flower shop, saw a therapist, and got Cas out of a crappy job,” Dean finishes.

Cas leans over to give Dean a kiss on the cheek. “Now I’ve had to put up with him ever since, and it’s been the best three years of my life,” Cas laughs.

Dean smiles shyly at Cas. “Me, too, baby.”

Dean sucks in a sharp breath of air when he sees Cas getting down on one knee. “Dean, I’ve been carrying this ring around with me for a while now, but with your brother here, this seems like the perfect time to ask: Will you marry me?”

Dean’s eyes start to tear up, but he pulls a similar box from his own pocket. “For the record, I was going to ask you tonight, but yes,” he answers breathlessly. They take the rings out of the boxes and put them on each other’s fingers. Dean murmurs, “I love you,” and Cas says it back. They seem to forget Sam and Sarah are there, or even that they’re still in a restaurant as their lips meet.

Sam wants to barf just looking at the two of them, but he couldn’t be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all she wrote. I'm planning on doing some more stories, but college is starting soon, so I don't know how much time I'll have. I will say that I have a story planned that kittens are part of the main plot, so look forward to that sometime. Anyway, let me know what you thought of this story. Thanks for reading!


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